Hmmm... thinking required [after a bit] Hmmm.... much much thinking required
[In response to 'What's your website?'] – I'm not sure, I just google my name when I want to find it.
I think it's just so they can write ASS in big capital letters.
Accounting is easy!
[Clock just goes crazy] – What an amazing clock! They must teach relativity in here.
...And these are some pictures I stole from Germany.
Can anybody help me? With the screen? [After continued lack of help] Nobody helps, no lecture.
Sorry for the advertisement for Air France, please ignore it.
Brace yourself and work hard.
I only called him a friend because I'm an affectionate person.
[After writing Mearf] – That says 'Nearly'
[Unsarcastically to me] – You're very funny!
R2 – reminds me of star wars.
It's helpful when you ask questions, it's also helpful when you don't – because I can just get on with my business.
[After being asked about my stories] – Some people are real, and some are not.
[After writing a large line using about 13 different symbols] – This is terrible, but you all know what I mean. Right?
Tables were around but not published, like secret societies. You could only get them if you had the right contacts.
You might think that this looks very easy, and it is! That's why I was able to solve it.
Hatcher is like a bad filmmaker!
Proof or Dare!
Keep death off the road, drive on the pavement!
It was given many very humble names... for instance 'the heaven', 'Atlas', 'God'...
I'll just skip a few examples and about 6 centuries of history.
Diophantus didn't know how to go past the 6th power.
[In response to 'Author of a very good combinatorics book, available at all good book stores.'] – If it doesn't have it, it's not a good book shop
You could carry on by induction, or just write 'and so on...'
History went literally out of the window! Well not literally, because we were in a basement and we didn't have windows.
I am a great addition to your country.
Brevity is the shit.
My equations are puppy rapists.
Only if you care about things like funding!
I don't care about 4th years... Actually, I probably should... I don't care about 2nd years.
I added super because it sounded sexy, like what the physicists do!
Write this down, and stare at it. It's difficult but so trivial.
You may want to think about this in dimension 7, just to feel sick.
Whenever you have a problem, just exclude it from your definitions.
[Towards the end of module] – So we've finally finished the preliminaries for the course.
There is something wrong... with the board or the chalk.
The proof is obvious, more or less. In fact, it's so obvious that I'll risk writing it down.
Any questions? We still have 30 seconds.
p(n) grows out of control, just like the incredible Hulk
If you forget, you'll never forget.
I can earn more money than the van!
Would you rather have 2 normal friends or 12 small friends?
If you could end the life in 10 seconds, you are in the life.
You may have also met the person who will write your obituary.
[About factorisation in Dedekind domains] – Probably the most important theorem in the whole world.
I'm going to go for the German tradition. Don't worry, I'm not German. I shouldn't say that; Germans are adorable people. I do like them.
It's a bit tedious, I won't go through the details. Please believe me.
And if you don't know what it means, it doesn't matter.
Now, you could do this, but I won't because it's boring.
This is outside your course, but it's for your 'culture'.
Strictly speaking, you are correct. But strictly speaking, I am correct.
When marking, I will take p marks off!
[About Farkas' lemma] – I think I will give up on this proof. It is a curse for me!
Too early for the dolphins to start coming.
I'm surprised you came back, know what this means? The other lecturers are doing an even worse job.
Let's keep the lecture unclear, better than gross.
Has it been boring so far? [Us: no] Damn! I was going to say we're getting to the interesting stuff, but I see you have a low standard of lectures.
[On moving assignment deadlines back] – Shall we share this information [Laugh] You don't know what I was going to say! ...share with the supervisors?
I think some of you are the type of people who will cheer on when the robots take over the world.
[On the FT of Galois Theory] – You were meant to scream!
Is that ok? Well, it's too late, I've rubbed it out.
[To me] – Do you really like maths? or really hate your friends?
Now I'm going to do what one should never do during a lecture, but before that, any questions?
[Upon hitting a contradiction] – And this is kinda impossible!
Before I violate the lecturing rules again... an example!
What else can I say? Happy exams?
No no officer. I swear it's just icing sugar.
I didn't realise it was inbreeding when we did it in class.
My teeth are so musical!
I'm in the middle of a rant, don't make jokes!
So far, so trivial
And it is only going to get worse.
If you don't like what I said, then pretend I never said it... And then I'll spend 5 minutes apologising.
Proof by consensus.
If there was a real fire, we were all going to burn here.
On a scale of 0 to Lie Algebras, wait that's not how it work
[Mid-explanation of a proof] – These are *really* good blackboards
[Asher: The Arctic is melting, which is obviously really bad for the Netherlands.] – Well, can't they move to Belgium, and no one would know the difference.
In retrospect, I don't know why I thought you'd be juggling.
A little bit sloppy with all the terminology.
Maybe I deserve to be murdered, but please don't kill me.
It's nice to be a mathematician, computers don't generally hurt you much
Define 'define'.
[Marie: Your maths is gone.] – Oh I didn't need it.
If anything, I'll be in prison, so it'll be great!
Dave wood is the most human man in the department, wait no Samir! Actually Samir isn't human, he's a magical pixie.
Take these equations, and then by a miracle, everything works! – Proof by miracle!
[I still don't understand why this is funny.] – Oh no! I've just spilled Prosecco down my shirt!
The Steinberg character is very important. Hmm, how can I get this across... Okay. If the Steinberg Character didn't exist I wouldn't be able to feed my family right now.
The thing is is this is that
Listen up liberals!
Thursday doesn't fit into a clear category
Cleaned piss is okay because that's like tap water
All pretence of knowledge is vanity anyway